whotheheckami | A Weekend of Strippers, Scrubbers and Red-Wine Poisoning

Well, I’ve got a few minutes to kill whilst on my way to Madrid and so I thought I should try and prepare an update. However I shall just sit here and kick myself for a bit because I’ve realised that I’ve not got my wedding ring with me – harumph! I wonder what else I’ve forgotten? This morning was more than a bit hectic and I left in a rush, despite having

gardenpixie to help.

Friday Evening
I was very glad to leave work as I felt that they had carved mote than their usual pound of flesh out of me during the week. I drove home through atrocious weather via Pixie’s parents’ pick up her handbag. I even found the time to pick up the DVD of Spiderman for Ivan – this proved an invaluable sprogsitter over the weekend, but other viewers got some benefit from one scene of the film! Can you guess which scene I mean? I got home and before too long I’d taken the dog for a walk and tidied about the place before people arrived. First to get there was Pixie, accompanied by [Bad username or site: daemongirl “Bob” @ livejournal.com]. They brought some fine vittles with them and so we set to to make that a meal for us all. Next to arrive was

chaoshedgerow who proceded to take

the_mendicant to the dining table and…discuss bizziness. Last to arrive was the ARB. Our food preparation and eating where accompanied by copious quantities of red wine – much of it a particularly pleasant Cotes de Brouilly. We seemed to drink a more than reasonable amount and I seem to remember Bob trying unsuccessfully to persuade me not t open the 5th bottle!

From the depths of our revelry I decided to give

sneerpout and

squaddie a call. I have no recollection of what was said, but I think there was a lot of laughter involved. Other vague memories appear to include Pixie’s creation of a “Dinosaur Killer” of Mexican Rice, which seemed to have a greater impact on all present than the arrival of an unruly comet! You can probably guess that things were all blurry by then but I think some people pootled off leaving the rest of us to sleep the sleep of the trashed!

Saturday
Why, oh why did I agree to take Bob to school? There should only be one 7 o’clock on a Saturday! Especially on those Saturday’s when one is suffering from red wine poisoning! It was a considerably bleary-eyed whotheheckami that dragged himself out of bed and forced Bob to eat something resembling breakfast before driving her to Oakditz. When I got back I found a very poorly Mendi who seemed to be suffering a lot more than the effects of the night before; she needed paracetamol and lots of cuddles. Suitably refeshed I wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed, but jobs beckoned and I dragged Pixie out of bed to join we in a bout of dog walking and shopping. Suitably stressed I returned from my mutated Tesco to dump the shopping in the house, and to rush over to the Farm to meet Sneerpout, Squaddie and

hawkida. The place was deserted and The other three had spent their time saying their hellos to the resident equine thug (Dermott), his compatriot, Annie and the cats. Hedge, ARM and the two strippers (steam, wall-paper, for the use of) soon arrived and we set too in the living room.

A call was soon received and a search party was sent to the station to collect the lovely Bob and the gloriously glorious

flickgc. We also had to buy 3 more strippers (metal, handled, wall-paper for the use of) and a vat of chips. Squaddie was particularly impressed to realise that he was back in the hallowed realms of the Pukka pie. This was the first time that the members of the Daemongirl fan club had met their idol and I know that they were duly impressed. Bob also go to meet [Bad username or site: anonymousbear “The Bear @ livejournal.com] and to introduce

grizzlybear

Other bears represented over the weekend included:
Tedward - Mouse and honourary bear
Twelve - Ape and honourary bear
Humphrey - Camel and honourary bear
Humphreda - Camel and honourary bear
Snap - Crocodile and honourary bear
Odie - Dog and honourary bear

The living room was soon like a Finnish Sauna as all of us got all hot and steamy together. Work continued through the afternoon and on into the evening and we were joined by two of Bob’s fellow inmates from Oakditz. I left with Pixie at 1630 to return to Chez Who the grab a very quick shower and to start getting food ready for the scrubbers and strippers. They arrived back in high spirits having completed the stripping of the living room – well done chaps and chapesses! Suitable cleansing was duly administered to one and all and I was soon joined in the kitchen by lots of very clean chaps and chapesses. All these lovely people looked horribly dehydrated and so copious amounts of fluids were also administered.

I was ably assisted in my culinary duties by the Pink Pixelated Pixie and the Fabulosl Fabulous Flick and were soon able to hurl an Indian banquet at the hungry hordes. The evening was a roaring success and lots of booze, gossip and cuddles were had by all. Hignlights included a game of Mornington Crescent where Pixie rued her lack of knowledge of the London Underground System, but was ably assisted by Flick and [Bad username or site: anonymousbear “The Bear @ livejournal.com] and his Aunty Flick teaching us the Pointy Bear Game.

The wonderful evening played but some team-members did not make the full 90 minutes and went for an early bath. The substitute card looked like this:

Mendi to her sickbed at 23:10
Bob at 23:30, 01:00 and 02:30
Hawkida at 01:30
Aunty Flick at 02:00
The final whistle was blown at about 03:30 and the last players on the pitch crawled to bed.

Sunday
Does anyone know what the punishment should be for waking someone after only 3 and a half hour’s sleep? Keel-hauling? Twice? Bob decided she needed a cuddle, which was duly given and then we had to play Hunt the Pixie- she turned up later after finding more comfortable sleeping accommodations and feeding her cats. The rest of the house woke, gradually! And Flick was able to listen to much of the Archers. We decamped to the farm for Bacon butties and more stripping and carried on into the evening; pausing only to say goodbye to our friends as they wended their way Southwards. Work was finally brought to a halt with the Dining room walls completely stripped and the stairs rebuilt in a Chaos-Hedgerow Stylie.

Dinner was served at Chez Who’s to a very tired crew of Mendi, Pixie, Bob, ARB, Hedge and me. To give you an idea how tired we were we only drank one bottle of wine and the Mexican Rice remained in the cupboard. A record m’thinks. And even more of a record when everyone had gone home except for Mendi, Alexi, Ivan and me by 21:30 zzzzzz!

Thanks to all the helpers and well wishers – there’s still lots more to do!