Uncomfortable
Mar. 31st, 2004 09:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
whotheheckamiI went to see my psychologist today for our first proper session since she took a history last week. This session was a lot more uncomfortable and draining as I was having to talk about things that were outside my comfort zone.
I talked a lot about the debacle of a Home Visit on Monday and how it had set me back and quickly glossed over my achievements of the past two weeks. She recognised my tendancy to dwell on the negative and that struck a chord with me and some things that Mendi had been saying. About how I chart my life by the mistakes and mishaps I've been through and not the considerable number of successes. I expect other people to praise me whilst I beat myself up. In the absense of external praise I just beat myself up. We discussed this some more and I realised that I need to recognise my personal victories and try and give myself more praise to balance the self criticism. Easy to say - but harder to achieve.
We talked about a lot of other stuff in a little over an hour and I was shattered as I drove home. I've spent the rest of the day gathering my thoughts and talking things over with Mendi. I'm even more tired now, but I'm heading to bed with a resolution to be more positive.
I talked a lot about the debacle of a Home Visit on Monday and how it had set me back and quickly glossed over my achievements of the past two weeks. She recognised my tendancy to dwell on the negative and that struck a chord with me and some things that Mendi had been saying. About how I chart my life by the mistakes and mishaps I've been through and not the considerable number of successes. I expect other people to praise me whilst I beat myself up. In the absense of external praise I just beat myself up. We discussed this some more and I realised that I need to recognise my personal victories and try and give myself more praise to balance the self criticism. Easy to say - but harder to achieve.
We talked about a lot of other stuff in a little over an hour and I was shattered as I drove home. I've spent the rest of the day gathering my thoughts and talking things over with Mendi. I'm even more tired now, but I'm heading to bed with a resolution to be more positive.
