whotheheckami | F3

I woke on Saturday with a purpose at 07:30 and rushed about getting the boys, Maggie and myself ready to drive up to Wales and getting myself stressed into the bargain. We eventually said goodbye to Mendi at 10am and headed off in the new car. I think I’ve made a good choice, as there is plenty of room, is very comfortable, performs well and has good fuel economy. The only thing I’m having trouble with is getting used to the 6-speed gearbox. I keep forgetting that I have a sixth gear and then worrying about the fuel I could have saved if I’d used for the last 50 miles.

I was comfortable enough with the car that I felt able to continue running the game of Warhammer Fantasy Role-play that I occasionally run for Alexi and Ivan when we are on long journeys. In fact, it’s from the game that I have drawn their LJ nicknames. It certainly passes the time, but trying to keep track of the names of NPCs without paper is more than a challenge that I’m up to! And don’t ask about dice rolls!

It hardly felt like 3 hours had passed before we had turned off the A55 Expressway and we were driving along the Promenade in Colwyn Bay with all the windows wound down and filling our lungs with sea-air – bliss! I navigated the car into the tiny village of Penrhynside and was relieved to find that the VW Sharan did fit into the driveway of my parents’ house. Mum looked fine and seems to be bouncing back from the bladder operation she had in the summer; she needs to arrange a follow-up appointment in the next few weeks or so. Especially as she has been having some discomfort over the past week or so [Worried look]. I’m also worried about my Dad – he seems to fade a bit every time I see him. He’s 85 and suffers from the effects of over 70 years of being a farmer. I remember how he used to seem like a rock to me with hands like shovels and a demeanour to match, but now he hardly has the energy or breath to do anything.

They were both delighted to see us all and made the obligatory comments about how much boys had grown. I took the chance to show the car off to them and drove us all into Llandudno for Macdonalds. On the way there I realised that I had Cerys Matthews’ Cock-a-hoop album in the CD-player. I quickly selected track n and watched my Mum’s eyes fill up as she heard Cerys sing her cover of the hymn Arglwydd Dyma Fi. We talked about Cerys and I found out that I’m probably distantly related to her (but then we Welsh hobbits are all related to each other!). Whilst in Llandudno I took the opportunity to meet my friend Cliff and pick up a litre or so of his “vodka” (you know what I mean don’t you

azekiel?) which I’ll be using to make some of my flavoured vodkas.

Once we’d got back to the “quarry” (My parents’ house nestles onto a ledge on the side of a cliff!) I snatched the chance of a snooze whilst Alexi and Ivan tried to teach Maggie to climb cliffs! Luckily, she seemed to have more sense and sat at the bottom whilst they vied with each other to get into gradually more precarious positions.

When I woke Up I herded my brood into their smart clothes and we drove the few miles to my sister’s house to attend her and my brother-in-law’s Silver Wedding Anniversary Party. It was a typical family gathering: seeing people you only usually see at births, weddings, deaths and anniversaries. I happen to get on well with a lot of the people there and so I had plenty of people to talk to. Especially my nieces and nephews and their partners who are close to me in age and attitude than my sister’s peers who are all in their mid to late 50s. I was especially proud of my boys who were little gentlemen until, what for them, was a late finish at midnight. We did have one little blip though! Alexi was making small talk with one couple and I heard them talking about the desserts. Come on, did you expect him to talk about politics – he isn’t 12 yet! He then mentioned how his Dad likes to blast away at water melons with a shotgun; little knowing that he was talking to the Police Inspector in charge of armed rapid response for North Wales. Thankfully, the officer concerned was highly amused and we swapped gun stories for a few minutes. He also confirmed that North Wales is still the only Police Force in the UK that has heavy, belt-fed machine guns in its armoury. It’s just a shame that they’ve got no one trained how to use them! To the best of my knowledge they are a hold-over from the late 1960s when Viet-Taff was a lot more radical and a much greater threat than they are now ;@).