Steady as she goes....

Had a lovely evening with Pixie. We had dinner and afterwards, whilst the boys were at cubs and scouts, we nipped to Tesco.

We'd hoped to buy some profiteroles for our um "pudding." Unfortunately, we had to improvise and settled for Finest Chocolate Mousse, Fresh Strawberries and Cream.

We got back and made a nest for ourselves in front of the TV and watched a good proportion of Bound (Squeeeeee!)(Thanks to Robin's Rentals for that one). The film was duly paused whenever the boys wandered in and also a few suitable scenes were revisited! We also discovered that our choice of pudding was a most acceptable substitute.

I'd hoped to sleep the sleep of the exhausted. However, I was wide awake at 2 with a stinking headache and stiff neck. I got up, padded about the house, spodded and read. It was 4 before I put the light off and went to sleep again. I'm getting more than a little bit fed up with this broken sleep and I don't like taking sleeping tablets every night. Consequently, I feel absolutely knackered this morning and I won't be able to get a nap during the day as I have to drive to Leicester to have a session with my P-Shrink.

Hey ho. However, once you discount the aforementioned ills, I'm feeling OK.

Steady as she goes....

Had a lovely evening with Pixie. We had dinner and afterwards, whilst the boys were at cubs and scouts, we nipped to Tesco.

We'd hoped to buy some profiteroles for our um "pudding." Unfortunately, we had to improvise and settled for Finest Chocolate Mousse, Fresh Strawberries and Cream.

We got back and made a nest for ourselves in front of the TV and watched a good proportion of Bound (Squeeeeee!)(Thanks to Robin's Rentals for that one). The film was duly paused whenever the boys wandered in and also a few suitable scenes were revisited! We also discovered that our choice of pudding was a most acceptable substitute.

I'd hoped to sleep the sleep of the exhausted. However, I was wide awake at 2 with a stinking headache and stiff neck. I got up, padded about the house, spodded and read. It was 4 before I put the light off and went to sleep again. I'm getting more than a little bit fed up with this broken sleep and I don't like taking sleeping tablets every night. Consequently, I feel absolutely knackered this morning and I won't be able to get a nap during the day as I have to drive to Leicester to have a session with my P-Shrink.

Hey ho. However, once you discount the aforementioned ills, I'm feeling OK.

Uncomfortable

I went to see my psychologist today for our first proper session since she took a history last week. This session was a lot more uncomfortable and draining as I was having to talk about things that were outside my comfort zone.

I talked a lot about the debacle of a Home Visit on Monday and how it had set me back and quickly glossed over my achievements of the past two weeks. She recognised my tendancy to dwell on the negative and that struck a chord with me and some things that Mendi had been saying. About how I chart my life by the mistakes and mishaps I've been through and not the considerable number of successes. I expect other people to praise me whilst I beat myself up. In the absense of external praise I just beat myself up. We discussed this some more and I realised that I need to recognise my personal victories and try and give myself more praise to balance the self criticism. Easy to say - but harder to achieve.

We talked about a lot of other stuff in a little over an hour and I was shattered as I drove home. I've spent the rest of the day gathering my thoughts and talking things over with Mendi. I'm even more tired now, but I'm heading to bed with a resolution to be more positive.

Uncomfortable

I went to see my psychologist today for our first proper session since she took a history last week. This session was a lot more uncomfortable and draining as I was having to talk about things that were outside my comfort zone.

I talked a lot about the debacle of a Home Visit on Monday and how it had set me back and quickly glossed over my achievements of the past two weeks. She recognised my tendancy to dwell on the negative and that struck a chord with me and some things that Mendi had been saying. About how I chart my life by the mistakes and mishaps I've been through and not the considerable number of successes. I expect other people to praise me whilst I beat myself up. In the absense of external praise I just beat myself up. We discussed this some more and I realised that I need to recognise my personal victories and try and give myself more praise to balance the self criticism. Easy to say - but harder to achieve.

We talked about a lot of other stuff in a little over an hour and I was shattered as I drove home. I've spent the rest of the day gathering my thoughts and talking things over with Mendi. I'm even more tired now, but I'm heading to bed with a resolution to be more positive.