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Stolen from the delightful
shadowduchess
Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to
Its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply
Alternate meanings for common words.
The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3 . Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
Answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run
Over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
Proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that,
When you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
Jewish men.
The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any
Word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
One letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are this year's winners:
1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
Bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
Little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
Getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
Subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
Person who doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running
Late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
Credit.)
9. Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
Really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
Like, a serious bummer.
10 Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
Consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
When they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
You've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your
Bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in
The fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:
16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Oh and go buy her wrist!
![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to
Its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply
Alternate meanings for common words.
The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3 . Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
Answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run
Over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
Proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that,
When you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by
Jewish men.
The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any
Word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
One letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are this year's winners:
1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
Bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
Little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
Getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
Subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
Person who doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running
Late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
Credit.)
9. Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
Really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
Like, a serious bummer.
10 Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
Consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter
When they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
You've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your
Bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in
The fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:
16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Oh and go buy her wrist!
no subject
Date: 2006-03-23 09:39 pm (UTC)So glad you enjoyed them!
Thanks for the promo btw!!
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2006-03-23 11:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-23 11:45 pm (UTC)Cheeky monkey you certainly did! Thank you so much. I'm hoping it's a success as I really want to help out someone with part of the proceeds...gah!!
no subject
Date: 2006-03-24 06:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-24 06:35 am (UTC)I'm hoping quite honestly to gather enough to divide it in half and send some of it to a friend who is rather ill and in need of certain meds to help her out. Her husband is working overtime all the time and they just seem to be stuck in the rotten loop which is our health care system.
*shrugs*
I don't know if it would help much but it's been preying on my mind since it is her liver and such that is pretty much sick.
A magic wand is good right about now however, I prattle on and I did not need to dump that on you I just wanted to let you know what I partially wanted to do with the auction.
:-/ and to thank you profusely.
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2006-03-24 06:38 am (UTC)*hugs back*
no subject
Date: 2006-03-24 06:45 am (UTC)I guess I just wish it was easier to help people you know?
*laughs*
Rogue!!!
Your friendship is very much appreciated and I can't thank you enough for it.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-23 09:43 pm (UTC)I also remember the last time you posted most of those 'new' words. :-p
no subject
Date: 2006-03-23 09:46 pm (UTC)Did you tell Arfur that he could do the
slobberingtattooing? ;@)no subject
Date: 2006-03-23 09:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-23 09:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-23 10:06 pm (UTC)One thing I've never bothered doing to myself.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-23 10:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-23 10:35 pm (UTC)Nice work, I'd love to see your art.
We've been working up to building a forge here for creating metal armour and weapons smithing but don't know if we'll wait for our own place since new people may be moving next door in two different spots :-/
GIP
Date: 2006-03-23 09:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-24 09:29 am (UTC)